verseless songbird

[february.4.2008.9:16pm]



silence coils itself
around the cassette tape;
a cassette tape of still
music spilling loudly into
the gaze his eyes so firmly
plants on my physical existence.

his lips never part to
give a voice of curiosity
permission to feed into
the caution that serves
as a barrier between him
and my souls sanity.

his stares are stand
ins for his tied tongue;
his eyes speak words
uncertainty limits the
snake of his mouth to hiss.

versesless this songbird
seems.

i long to hear his melodic
melody comforting all had
suspicions of his mild mannered
silent speech in the pillows
of ethereal dreams.

who am i

[february.4.2008.9:04pm]


to love??
to be loved??

a right of this
i have not,
yet i strain through
thee fray of what
should be only to
be wildly occupied
with thee what could be.

to have found my
soulmate at thee
transition of dark
to light seems to
have been lost in
thee shadows i so
need to flirt with while
naked.

his fingerprints
arent stains i long
to cleanse from my
souls core;
theyre proof of love
that existed in a
time not convenient.

i can only imagine
thee flutter of his eyes
as they walk across
whats here written
and i can only pretend
i can feel what emotions
these words evoke within
him.

smiles fuck my lips
into displaying,
expressing how
what we will share,
but will never develop
really transcends to
my soul.

ive let go,
yet my grasp hasnt
let loose.

what is said to
be right is what
weve decided to
place actions to.

for if things fall
apart,
he may be thee
better situation to
fall in place.

if not,
from my heart,
mind,
vagina,
hell never be erased.

exit i am to a
place my love and
i used to be in hopes
of creating that mystic
shit he and i founded.





love, love

her

[january.28.2008.11:25pm]

"...she was a dark skinned girl with pretty cornrows,
she was doing her best to try and hide that scar..."
-raphael saadiq


i want her to have what i have found;
to be courageous enough to disarm the
arsenol that guards her heart;
for her to trust in love as i know it;
as it is to be made and kept.

i want to replace her heartache;
replace it with fulfillment of self;
want to erase the pain from her aways;
for love to allow her to
choose joy in her speech.

i want her to look in the
mirror and see the person i see;
wish she were good at mathematics
because then shed know the
true value of her self worth,
her net worth weighed in love;
i want her to smile like she means it;
for her to know the faux ones hurt most.

i want her to free her heart of doubt;
secure her mind in a love to be not sought after,
but found;
for her to never give him the authority
to dictate who, when, how,
why she loves the way she will;
i want her to give contentment
permission to live within.

i want her to know i admire her more ways than one;
in ways she thinks light of;
for her to never feel as though the next time is doomed;
i want her to potentially soon believe in bride and groom,
but only when my wants for her becomes her necessities...

because i can want all i want for her,
but only juhlisa can want the need to set
herself free when need be.

words unheard

[january.24.2008.2:25pm]


silence forces its
way down a throat
that struggles to
unscramble words
too afraid to be
spoken out of a
mouth that allows
uncertainty to
discourage two
tremblings lips to
part and give way to
a voice of a child
left unheard...

eyes forever holding
contact with the floor,
eyes thatre forever
finding security in
crying exclusively in
the places that light
cant touch...

nicole

[january.24.2008.2:15pm]

"memories on corners with the..."
-common


she offered her
slabs of concrete
to us as our
territory,
slabs of concrete
that rose with
the earth;
sloped with our
fearless thrill
seeking children
bravery.

the gas station
marked her beginning,
the corner store
signaled her end;
everything in
between we pissed,
spat and stomped on.

nicole didnt have
a pool for us to
frolick in,
but the hydrant up
top was all ours...

even when the
fire department
came to place
claims on water
that didnt belong
to them either.

nicole made it
so that having
a dollar a day
equated to being
wealthy at our
naive age.

she didnt require
parent supervision
as most city parks
displayed signs of.

the limp metal
fences that
enclosed yards
of balding earth
were zoo cages;
every other
yard wed see
an assortment
of canines;
our rottweiler
never failed to
bark at these
often vicious beasts.

nicole watched over
our lives when our
carelessness grew
to be victorious
of our caution that
never existed.

she molded herself
into every landscape
that our young minds
envisioned.

her street lamps
didnt act as warnings
telling us to return
home;
wed just subtract
more distance between
us and the porch.

her empty hallways
tickled our voices
into echoes that most
times shoulve been
whispers.

nicoles apple
trees were often
fruitless
year round,
but fruitful
became of our
laughter as
we fought,
cursed and didnt
give a fuck as did
our parents and
older siblings
cared a fuck
less about us.

mother

emotionally raped of my innocence;
mentally fucked for my sanity;
unjustly kidnapped of my childhood;
physically disregarded and abandoned.

your hugs are strangers to me;
soft soothing words are unheard.

youre responsible for the child i
never was given the chance to become,
responsible for the fetus that rests
in my psyches womb,
lying unloved as a stillborn.

i learned to use lies
as self preservation...


[to be continued]

[january.23.2008.4:32pm]


sultry syllables and
vulgar vowels slip
from in between my
lips as youre seeking
refuge of yourself
deeply in the wet
walls of solace that
is provided from my
slit and there,
my lips tightly wrap
themselves around the
surface of a softness
of a skin thats
displayed as the
physical manifestation
of an erect adrenaline rush,
but rush you do not
as you taunt time to
be stretched as i am
becoming and coming
i came in result and
your soon come orgasm
depicts you as drowning
while your manhood
goes limp.