words juggle and congregate amongst the folds of my genius;
premature thoughts seek substance;
to be placed in the meticulous order set in manifestation;
through uncertainty truth is birthed thus comes love, a fallacy of none.
out of thee hiatus I have risen,
to acknowlegde love that I've always had.
a love that as a child,
I sought to be loved with,
and through this love I've come to recognize and submit for all wrongs are corrected as it pertains to the half love, missed love,
mistaken love that nourished me.
contentment has found me in a time when doubt clouded my truth only to come to learn that this "doubt" was my intuition.
for a duration of four years,
hard I fought to maintain my sanity in the social constructionism[s] of high school while watching the blasphemy of the ignorant souls be placed upon my truth.
I survived;
truth prevailed.
but,
I found myself tunneling through a dark abyss of a place soon come,
seen to become,
feel,
seem all too familiar.
with this said,
I dropped out of an institution that I agreed to pay monthly installments of currency to as it sought to buy my mind and blur my truth.
in the silence found in the core of my soul,
I listened to what it desired most and muting the fray of the incompetent was priority number one;
this I did without her or his permission for it was a toll I was willing to pay.
I moved back home.
realized I missed my difficult to love loved ones.
I began to exercise my freedom and time was well spent frolicking in the pastures of the feilds of my imagination.
thee abstract returned with a vengeance;
one that held my water and stagnant life as I knew it became.
unemployment,
withdrawing from school,
having no other obligations upholding structure of how my weeks should be spent granted me time
to
love:
love them differently.
learn to know why I love them;
love him;
love him hard seen come to be easy,
naturally,
freely,
blindly,
with all of me,
ever so gently,
more so truthfully than not so fully,
and ultimately,
without any fallacy.
child I was then,
woman child I am now.
I'm in thee lover ever after.
I will continue to love now until forever is the chapter.
love -er he is.
love her he does.
and happily doesn't last forever,
but for life to be as it may,
thee in lover ever after lies in the folds of truth born free of fallacy as it is to childrens' laughter.
1 comment:
its like a really elegant autobio. very insightful- and real- but with a flair that only ur words will allow to be read not so much as a narrative- or a "char'nae was born in..." typical self manifestation- but as i actually dont know the adjective im looking for..or is is a noun...but it was great- and..you.
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