Monday, December 31, 2007

what ive made of us

[december.31.2007.3:12pm]


past relationships served as
mere playgrounds in which I danced
across the surfaces of my past
lovers' pleas for me to cease
seeking fun in the art i mastered of
causing their emotional state to
forever be in a disarray upon my every command.

to look after me,
there was no one;
forced as a child to immitate
the role of parent brought me to remain in character
even while curtains were drawn.

discipline came as self isolation
when my childish antics began to litter
my past lovers' memories of me with
regrets of allowing their hearts
to be kept for keeps.

the many boys' hearts sufficed for my need of toys;
emotionally,
on me they relied so for sheer amusement,
i fed them lies.

to live the role of pupil to a teacher,
to learn lessons his way as our relationship
becomes our classroom and life as he's lived it
is what he'll teach has been what ive wanted to
find me.

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