the rare narrative:

[march.6.2008.6:47pm]


i'm being loved while in love with a man who to live without would be pain i doubt i'm strong enough to endure and rarely do i ill-measure my strength.

he and i struggle to love one another. in the manner in which i express my feelings for him, the words i choose to convey how he feels about me, one would be misled to believe that love between he and i remains smooth peaches and cream.

yet it's anything but...

through all the lies spun from my tongue that i become selfish and childish enough to give him as truth, he continually offers me the chance to confront my demons. he and i see the truth as it is through the same pair of eyes; he loves me to the ultimate level to check me when i'm too much of a coward to do so myself.

Michael feeds my soul, nurtures my body and stimulates my psyche. he loves me in my entirety in quantities i can't fathom to comprehend. as i've always sought to be loved, regarded, cherished, he does so. he acknowledges my strength and holds me at his highest respect; in the same company of the two other great people that matter to him most: his father and son.

there's no doubt in my mind that he is my one and that i'm his forever. this relationship hasn't been soon come found. i've loved him since I was fifteen, since the day i told him during a time i recall as the Dark Ages. he's truly my hero. he saved me from an emotional death i was suffering from and little did i know then, i did the same for him simultaneously.

i need him. i honestly know that i do. he isn't disposable; he's a necessity. life for me without him would be a shell with no pearl hidden inside to shine.
don't mistake this for me being a needy woman lustfully attracted to a dog who doesn't deserve her efforts, time and emotional validation...

he's earned every ounce of myself i wake up each day to present to him.

yet, he drives me in-fucking-sane!

were so alike that it's dangerous for us to be on the outs with one another.

he's such an asshole. demanding. cynical. cautious. observant. watchful. passionate. protective. egotistical. insensitive. aloof. thoughtful. pragmatic. wise. wise. very wise. combative. pushy. needy. strong. incredibly strong. loving. loyal. curious.

he sometimes acts as if he's gone through life for me for he's always there to correct my wrongs before i step out of rationality to make them. he pushes me to my limit and yet when he does, i set that bar much higher, just for him.

ironically, we balance one another out.

[i use ironically because were the saaame sign: aquarius. birthdays are fourteen years and a week apart...smh]

in his heart's mind, no one could ever love him for who he is when he's not being charming, humorous, lovable, smooth, well-versed; then i came into his life.

i know for a fact he's the best shit on earth since take-home pregnancy tests.

loving him allows me to realize how God continues loves us faulty human beings unconditionally.