[march.20.2007.8:26am]
im sitting here in front of the computer with a stuffy nose, sinus pressure and an itchy throat; all gifts of spring...
mnkee is sleeping, tussling in the covers that wrap him and all i can do is feel lightheaded that im here in his pressence, in his wake of pure passion and ginuine genius.
ive come to the realization that
i ♥ him
and somehow in my soul, i find comfort with the
fact that i fell for none other than him.
im so happy and im learning all the tiny steps that come along with growing with someone. we spend plenty of time with one another and its all a piece of our meshing process. he wants me as char'nae and theres no room for pretending. he illuminates the darkest corners that i wish to hide.
with him,
i can no longer run from myself;
its a race that should never be ran.
and slowly but surely,
hes showing me that there is a light in me
that im obligated to allow to shine,
despite those who wish to put it out.
and they cant because
its my innnerglow.
im wading in new waters here; waters that have dangerous under currents and calm ripple effects and im okay with this. hes shown me who he is and im teaching him that its okay to be himself. ill always be here as his friend to comfort him if nothing else.
a new chapter, i fresh page, new ink is now being used to fill this book of mine and literally, hes a character ive created in the folds of my imagination who would perfectly suit me...
and he does.
so as im wrestling with this stuffy nose, no longer will i grant fear and pride the chance to deprive me of someone and something as great and liberating as love from such a real individual.
call me crazy, but
ive taken off the training wheels
and
im wearing no seatbelt,
no helmet,
no pads...
for im willing to crash once again with him and proudly fall victim to being his love:sucker...
