boroughing to the boroughs.

[october.4.2007.10:07am]

"making it in the slow lane toward someplace i badly need to go."

-richard ford



ever get the feeling,
the feeling of displacement,
that youve been dealt the
wrong hand of cards,
a deal you have failed to change?
the mood of being stuck in a rut.
or better yet,
that somewhere else,
on some other city's sidewalk,
underneath another sky,
your name is being called.

first it begins as a whisper.
no louder than the soft purring of
a napping kitten...


then the amp is plugged in.
and all you can hear
is the repetition of your name
over a lil jon and the eastside boys' beat.



if you cant relate,
just hear me out.


east oakland.
north oakland.
west oakland.
east oakland.
antioch.
the "early" elk grove.
sacramento
and all its sub-cities, towns.


this is my map.
where ived lived.
where ive been.

and my own personal trips dont
suffice for the life im seeking.


i just get this feeling that i belong
somewhere else.
its calling me.
tempting me.
and im going to give in soon.

im just in the slow lane,
no traffic,
just in a car that doesnt accelerate
past 60 miles per hour.

and my rearview mirror is broken.
fcuk whats behind me.


and here i come.
as i make my way
through this life i
call dull
and not fit for
an insight like mine.


or maybe its me.

i look at life through a
telescope.
and i want to experience what i see
through that magnifying glass;
i want to experience its grandeur.


so little hilly town of
moraga wont suffice,
pacify me.


i dont wanna be queen of these hills.
i wanna run the city.
and thats where im headed.


in the core of
the rotten apple.


and ill gladly eat
my slice of the
American (rotten apple) Pie.